Sunday, February 20, 2011

Lost Bible Readings

Jesus said to his disciples:

My friends... this loin cloth is itchy

Doesn't anybody have some red meat? I am frigging sick of all this fish.

Why do we continue to wear sandals in the desert? I would sacrifice one of you for a sneaker.

Doesn't anybody know any chicks? People are starting to spread rumors about us.

I give you peace, my peace I give you, I have some peace and of that peace I hereby bequeath a lot of it, so basically ya know, what I am saying is ya know... peace.

Tomb party this weekend?

I tell you, I slept like a dead man this weekend.

I think this "peace" thing is going to be really popular in one thousand nine hundred and sixty years.

I feel like this whole carpentry profession is going to come back to haunt me.

Ok OK, how about, instead of my disciples we call you... the hipsters of Nazareth. No? What about the desert bohemians?

What's with all the wine? I would love a beer.

Red wine and fish? This doesn't go at all!

Does anybody know a good shroud cleaner?

-RTB
History is full of examples of people who didn't discover their real creative abilities until they discovered the media in which they thought best. - Sir Ken Robinson