Future Past

We are always living in the past of an unwritten future.

-RTB

Dream

If you don't have ridiculous dreams you'll never have realistic results.

-RTB

Not Yet

Because I’m not ready

You’re not ready

It hurts

The way frustration hurts

The way sadness informs

Subterranean and dark

Did you feel good when you woke up

that you spoke up

that you vented

That you told me why

The why matters

My fingertips still trace paths

And my heart still remembers rhythm

I feel it and I felt it

hanging onto it

but just barely

the way water runs off a peach

-RTB

79 Words

He sang to her. Willingly if not lovingly. Or vice versa. She didn't cry though she could have. The tears standing at the ready. Eye muscles prepared to work from memory if not from need. If they loved each other they would stay that way forever. But forever wasn't their problem. Theirs was very much an issue of now. But neither would let the other exist there.

-RTB

75 Words

He sank into his chair like an oreo into hot pudding. He heard them laughing, crying out his name in between theirs gasps for breath. He sank lower. His eyes shut of their own unencouraged ambition and he pressed his teeth against each other as though to make diamonds. He held his breath without realizing it and then opened his eyes to the empty room. They had left, if they'd ever been there at all.

-RTB

The Battle

Half the battle is not finding the right answers, but finding the right questions.

-RTB

Creativity

Creativity for me was like a thread that hung off my sleeve for the first 25 years of my life. It was always there. Tickling me. Letting me know it was there. But it wasn't until I tugged on it that I realized I would never be able to stop.

- RTB

It Begins

I'm thickening my skin

Building my armor 

Plates of steel and iron

Coating myself against it all

Protected defended

Impenetrable

No

too much

I won't feel anything

no point

No sensation at all

So I am thickening my skin

With leathers and pelts

stronger skins than mine

Tied closely fitting snugly over me

a newer better improved me

But still yet

I won't be able to move or stretch

Bend or flex 

an immobile version of myself 

I won't even be myself

So I am thickening my skin

Though I am not quite sure how

I will think it thick

Imagine it tougher

Make it what it needs to be

What I need it to be

Want it to be 

For me to be

Who I want to be.

-RTB

rich Rich poor Rich

Though affluent with her love

I felt hollowed out and muggy

Her love around me

Rising up in me

Dense

And cloudy

Like a haunting in my chest

Like a memory with a scratch in it that won't stop skipping

The same line over and over again.

Like a mint that was made of razors

Like an orgasm made of possiblies

Like a sweetness born of acid rain

Like a smile born of apathy

Like tears made of gravel

Like sadness made of honey

Like a maybe made of definitely

Like a definitely made of never

Like the love we made together

Like the sex we never had

Like the sex we made together

Like the love we never had

Like the pot you smoked that I didn't

Like the fear I inhaled that you hadn't

Like an insecurity built in Roman times

Like a seasonal laughter's end

Like a fire carved in yesterday

Like a bitterness carved in stone

These memories are my albatross

These memories haunt me endlessly

And they won't leave me alone.

-RTB

Come to Connecticut

I’ve been invited to share my thoughts on things

Me, a master of singularity and unpurchased rings

But what I have to offer is written in sand

I’m a boy, a man, a mixture of things I don’t quite yet understand

And yet I speak louder than some, much louder than most

But I fear prostheltizing and shy just short of boast

I forget more than I remember

And I cling to my summers well past September

And if I’m self fulfilling my prophecy

Then I’ll have to take more than partial responsibility

For allowing myself to posture and plead

For the things I know I think I need

When I’m quite sure I’m already in possession of all my tools

And should relinquish my captainship on this ship of fools

And I’ll avoid giving a life lesson

Aphoristic Metaphorical pseudo musings full of cognitive indigestion

-RTB

Nuance

Nuance is what makes actors great and people interesting.

-RTB